Where might you find a prehistoric monster cow?
In a moo-seum.

What is Dracula's favourite sport?
Bat-minton.

What do monsters eat for breakfast?
Dreaded wheat.

Why did the monster go to an astrologer?
He wanted to see his horrorscope.

"Doctor, doctor-I think I'm invisible!"
"Who said that??"

Name the famous vampire composer?
Bat-hoven.

What happened to Bat-hoven after he died?
He stopped composing and started decomposing!

When Dracula leaves his coffin, what time is it?
Time to run!

"Mama, mama-all the children at school say I look just like a werewolf."
"Shut up and comb your face."

What do young monsters love to eat?
Ice-Scream.

Name the most famous monster detective of all time.
Sherlock Gnomes.

How do young spooks prefer their eggs?
Terrifried!

What is Dr Jekyll's favourite game?
Hyde-and-seek.

What's an Italian ghost's favourite food?
Spook-etti.

What happened to the author who died?
He became a ghost writer.

How does Satan travel?
By hellicopter.

Cross a computer with a vampire and what do you get?
Love at first byte.

What do you get if you cross a monster frog with a soft drink?
Croak-a-cola.

Do you know what vampire sailors call their ships?
Blood vessels.